🐾 If Dogs Could Leave Grooming Reviews…

Real reviews (if your dog had thumbs and could type!). Real drama. Real opinions.

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🐶 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ — “Best Day Ever!!!”

“I don’t know what happened but I got a bath, 3 treats, and 2 new best friends. I tried to sit in her lap the whole time and she didn’t even mind. Will absolutely be back. 12/10.”

— Golden Retriever, emotionally thriving

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🐾 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ — “Pretty Good I Guess”

“Everything was fine. Efficient. Clean. Acceptable. I do feel softer.

However, I was not consulted on the haircut nor did I consent to this bang trim.”

— Shih Tzu, mildly offended

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🐕 ⭐️⭐️⭐️ — “Mixed Feelings”

“The bath was suspicious. The dryer was louder than necessary.

But the lady was nice and told me I was brave, so… I’ll allow it.”

— Rescue mix, cautiously optimistic

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🐩 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ — “I Am Beautiful”

“I have always been beautiful but now it is simply undeniable.

Everyone should experience this level of excellence.”

— Poodle, as expected

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🐕‍🦺 ⭐️⭐️ — “Not What I Signed Up For”

“I was told this was a ‘spa day.’ There was water. There was brushing.

There were feelings. I will need time to process.”

— Husky, dramatic but clean

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🐾 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ — “She Was So Gentle With Me” 💛

“I was really nervous at first and didn’t know what was happening.

But she went slow and talked to me and gave me breaks.

I think I can do this again.”

— Senior dog, very brave

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🐶 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ — “Would Recommend (With Conditions)”

“I did try to sit down multiple times and she kept asking me to stand.

Other than that, I was told I was a ‘good boy’ at least 47 times.”

— Doodle, slightly confused but happy

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🐾 ⭐️ — “Absolutely Not”

“There was a nail trim. That is all.”

— Chihuahua, will not elaborate

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🐕 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ — “I Made Friends!!!”

“I met many friendly humans and a mysterious dryer.

I loved everyone. I kissed everyone. I regret nothing.”

— Lab mix, zero boundaries

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Which one is your dog? 👀

Be honest… which review would your dog leave?